Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

This Sunday’s gospel story of Mary and Martha has long been one of the passages of scripture I have identified with the most. Martha complains to Jesus that her younger sister, Mary, has chosen to sit at his feet listening to him instead of assisting in the chores of serving their guest. “Tell her to help me,” Martha tells Jesus. Jesus declines to do so and takes Mary’s side. As I was reflecting on this passage, the part that leapt out at me was when Jesus said to Martha, “you are anxious and worried about many things.”

As a person who has struggled with anxiety and a compulsion to be “productive,” I have always related more to Martha and wondered why Jesus didn’t give her more support. No matter how hard I have tried, I always struggled with contemplation as my racing thoughts about the past and future impeded the enjoyment of simply spending time with God and having no agenda.

At this point in time, there seems to be substantially more valid reasons for worry. I serve in Cochabamba, Bolivia as a Maryknoll Lay Missioner. Bolivia is in an economic crisis at the moment, with a severe shortage of gasoline and diesel, rapidly rising prices reflecting the current nine percent inflation rate, increasingly violent protests and blockades, and a fraught election on the horizon. The people, especially the poor and marginalized, are finding it much more difficult to buy necessities and keep themselves and their families safe.

In my own country, the United States, immigrants are being rounded up — in the streets, in courthouses, and in churches — and deported, regardless of citizenship, legal status or a valid asylum claim. The poor are facing the specter of even greater poverty with significant cuts to the programs like Medicaid and SNAP that help them the most.

In the rest of the world, escalating wars, conflicts, and continuing violence are alarming.

In short, there is a lot for me to be anxious and worried about.

In the past, I have managed my anxiety like Martha did: by trying to control every situation, including the problems over which I have no control, and judging others on whether or not they are doing their part. However, after serving in mission with the Maryknoll Lay Missioners for three and a half years, I am only now understanding the value of the gift that Jesus would not take away from Mary no matter how justified Martha’s complaints were.

A turning point of this shift in my spiritual journey came when I was discerning whether or not to continue mission past my three-and-a-half-year commitment. I was on a trip to the southern part of Bolivia with a friend who came to visit. We saw the famous salt flats and spent the next couple of days traveling through a large, remote, and wildly beautiful protected park near the Argentinean and Chilean borders. There was plenty of wildlife unique to the region, as well as mountains, rivers, desolate terrain, and red and green lakes.

One day we came to a gorgeous lake where we witnessed an astonishing number of flamingos. I sat on a large rock and contemplated the scene in front of me. I had no agenda, no thoughts or cares — I was simply enjoying the beauty of Bolivia. Quite unexpectedly, there was such a peace that descended on me that I could have stayed there all day. I had no racing thoughts, no regrets to agonize over, no problems I needed to figure out, no plans to make. In that moment, I felt like I was experiencing the gift Jesus would not take away from Mary. I realized that it was nothing I had earned or I could make happen myself. It was purely a gift from God. I came to a deepened understanding of why Jesus would not heed Martha’s request and tried to help her understand that her judgement was keeping her from receiving the same gift.

This experience was a significant factor in my decision to continue in mission for another year and a half. I felt God was inviting me to stay where I am and do what I can to help alleviate some of the suffering that so many Bolivians are experiencing, especially now. I still have anxiety about the future, but I also now desire to subordinate my agenda to God’s plans for me and try as best I can to be in the present, no matter what is going on in the world. I have found that God delights in gifting us in unexpected ways. God’s gifts are unearned, unconditional, and steadfast. If we accept the gifts given, then it is possible to experience a profound, supernatural peace in the midst of the worries and anxieties of this world.